11/16/97 (Third November Song)

11/16/97 (Third November Song)

At 5:06 p.m., you first drew the first protesting breath,
Outraged by the sharp slap, the bright lights,
And the indignity:
Dangling wet and naked among strangers.

At 5:18 p.m., I followed curiously to investigate,
And left the warmth, the liquid darkness,
Urged on by your cries:
Our pattern for life in the bright new world.

My best memory of us: pounding down the beach,
Two of Neptune’s colts. We would collapse at last,
Your laughter in my ears as we grappled in the sand.
Hearts slowing, breath returning, you would rise, stretch,
And assume the royal voice, suddenly mock-English,
Fluting out the edict: “We insist on being happy . . . . .”
Then the wink and nudge: “It’s work, but it’s soooooooo worth it!”

I didn’t know those words would be emblazoned on my heart,
Still spurring me on from day to day
Without you . . . .

You were joyous above all things, so I honor your memory:
I insist on being happy.
It’s work . . . .

But in those moments after gritted teeth and tears,
When peace descends
“Sooooooo worth it!”

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c. 2000 Todd Eliot